The Long-Awaited Return of the Blog

A wise man once told me that the blogosphere waits for no man. I have seen that this is true. In recent weeks I have had to put this blog on hold as the real world has intervened. Deadlines and work have all got in the way of what some have described as my true calling in life- writing occasional musings on a team of men paid to kick a ball into a net. The wise man’s prophecy came true. As soon as I stopped writing regularly, ratings went on a downward curve steeper than the profits of Pukka Pies when Frank Lampard instigated his New Year’s resolution. Luckily, with deadlines met and Christmas approaching, I’m back and better than ever. Or at least, no more ill-informed and misguided than previously.

Since I last posted here, we have played two matches, losing to Olympiacos and beating Everton. Certainly, both matches deserve posts of their own but I won’t bother as they were both some time ago now. I’m a forward-thinking kind of guy. Suffice to say that the Olympiacos game was sort of embarrassing, and the Everton game was sort of brilliant. I love 1-0 wins: the sensation when the final whistle goes makes the previous however-many minutes of agony almost worthwhile. I think it is fair to say that a hard-fought, ‘ugly’ win like Saturday’s can sometimes be more enjoyable than delivering a thrashing. Hmm, unless that thrashing is delivered at the home of your foulest rivals, and involves scoring 5 goals, a heroic hat-trick, and your rival’s beloved captain plunging to the floor in despair as the world’s deadliest goal-scorer glides away effortlessly, carrying both the ball and his foe’s dignity. In cases like that, thrashings are more fun.

The purpose of this post is not to comment on what I have missed, though, but on our current position and what we can expect over the festive period. Firstly, there is the matter of Manchester City at the weekend. Whilst I always want Chelsea to lose, I did at least see the benefit of their beating City on Monday, namely that the Invincibles will not  be matched for another year. I’m not sure if that feat gets enough coverage. If it had been a Ferguson side, members of the press and public would be queuing up to get commemorations of the feat tattooed on various parts of the body. As it is, the anti-Wenger media like to wash over the fact that the man achieved arguably the greatest accomplishment possible in football. Did you know it’s been 6 years since we last won a trophy? Where was I, my paranoia has sidetracked me?

Ah yes, the Manchester City match. Abramovich’s deprived paupers showed in ‘El Cashico’ that City can be beaten. I won’t be all that nervous on Sunday morning. We’re the underdogs, after all. If we lose, it’s more or less to be expected. It’s not like we ever get beaten that badly in Manchester anyway, ahem. If we win, it will be something of a coup and we would start to be seen as a team that can actually do something this year. The media (back to them) might start treating us as a team that has taken 22 of the last 24 points available to us. Did you know we had quite a poor start to the season? My paranoia pills seem to be wearing off. The reality is that the media have already woken up to the fact that this Arsenal team that they wrote off is actually beginning to look decent. Luckily, our star player is involved in some contract wrangling, so the hacks have got their Christmas present.

After the Manchester City match, and I hate to write it, our next few matches look winnable. Villa away, QPR and Wolves at home, Fulham away. I won’t put a number on it but if we take a certain amount of points from those games, and you know roughly what number that is, we will be in good shape going into the new year. Look at the table. We are only 2 points behind Chelsea, who are in third. I don’t think that a push for third is out of the question. Neither Spurs nor Chelsea fully convince me (as football teams, not as individuals, the nature of whom I am fully convinced.) Spurs are Spurs, and Chelsea have reverted to the tactic of giving it to Drogba and allowing him to plough his way through defences. When he goes to the ACN in January (has he retired from international football or was that a bizarrely-specific dream?) they will perhaps have to return to the method that saw John Terry exposed for the lumbering playground defender that he is. Maybe I’m clutching at straws, but I feel that their position is far from secure. As for Spurs, they look good now (Stoke hilarity aside) but soon their manager will be doing time and their current goal-threat, GreedyBarnDoor, will soon do his usual, and simply stop being good for a while. What then? Having Donkey Kong racing up the left wing is no good if his crosses are being met by Roman Pavlyuchenko.

So, all in all, Sunday aside, I’m pretty confident. Of course, there’s every opportunity for things to go wrong, but that’s football.

I’ll be back tomorrow with a bit of analysis of other recent results. For example, Stoke-Tottenham, a game that had me wishing there was a way both teams could lose a football match.

Until then,

Joe

Follow me on Twitter @joeblogsarsenal

5 Things I Don’t Want to See Happen This Season, but Probably Will.

After the roaring success* of ‘5 things I would like to see happen this season’, here comes my slightly more pessimistic attempt. Here it goes, the 5 things I don’t want to see happen this season, but probably will.

1-      Drawing Barcelona in the next round of the Champions League.

Let’s assume for the moment that we get through our group, but that we come second, which is currently perfectly feasible. Now, I enjoyed beating Barcelona at home last season as much as the next man. Football was made for nights like that one. It was brilliant, fantastic. But do you know what would be more brilliant and fantastic? Sneaking through to the semis without playing anyone good. I mean it. Imagine drawing Apoel in the round of 16, and then Trabzonspor in the quarters. It’s technically possible, and while that is the case I will be hoping for trips to Cyprus and Turkey come the spring. I know what the purists among you will be saying: ‘You’ve got to beat the best to be the best.’ Nope. You don’t. Look at Chelsea’s route to the final in 2008: they beat Olympiacos, Fenerbahçe and then Liverpool in extra time. Were it not for their diversity-loving captain’s hysterical penalty-bottling antics, they would have had their clammy paws on that giant trophy having beaten only one really decent team in Man United. Playing Barcelona is all well and good, and victory against better teams is more glorious. It’s also more unlikely, and I’m a percentage-playing kind of guy.

*Based on no statistics or ‘facts’.

2-      Tottenham finishing above us in the Premier League.

This feels weird. The last time we missed a St. Totteringham’s day was, if I’m not mistaken, 1995. A lot has changed since then: countries have been invaded, terrorism has reshaped the world forever, the global economy has gone into recession, Ashley Cole has single-handedly defeated slavery in football. In these worrying years, one thing has remained reassuringly constant- Spurs have been shit. Even in recent years when we haven’t been all that good, they have been worse, usually by a long way. Because of this, it feels odd to say that they are now favourites to finish ahead of us, but it’s true. Their starting eleven is (arguably) the equal or better of ours. They seem to have gelled. They also seem to have picked up the irritating habit of winning when they deserve to lose, whereas in the past they had perfected the amusing art of losing when they deserved to win.  Finishing behind Tottenham is not something I anticipate with any pleasure, but it might just happen this season. Don’t, however, underestimate the Spuds’ capacity for cocking up. There’s hope yet.

3-     A seemingly-unlikely yet somehow inevitable loss in February or March that derails an otherwise-promising season.

It’s happened before and one suspects it will happen again. Last year’s was particularly severe. The loss to Birmingham (good riddance, I am keenly looking for their results in the Championship this year in the hope that they stay down) in the Carling Cup led to the worst run of results of Wenger’s reign, a period of horrendous form that is only tentatively being reversed now, eight months later. On the morning of that match, we were in four competitions. Three weeks later, after losses in all three cups and a couple of draws in the league, we were out of all four. This season we should avoid Birmingham, but the spectre of that game will hang over us in the spring. I have a fear that one bad loss in February or March could lead to a collapse in form and confidence the like of which we seem to be repeating annually, at around the same time. A self-fulfilling prophecy of gloom.

4-      No players being signed in January.

I do not think the team is in need of a drastic overhaul. What we have at the moment is a good enough team to challenge for the top four, which I think we have a decent chance of making. But when did this become an acceptable goal for this football club? I am not accusing Wenger of complacency- the man’s desire to win is palpable. But I do think his unwillingness to spend in accordance with the prices of the modern football market, ludicrous as it is, means we risk being left behind. We are not as far off as detractors would have you believe; as recently as February we were genuinely involved in a title race. But we are not any longer. To rectify this we need to build on the decent run of form we are on currently and with a large helping of luck might stay on until Christmas, and sign some players. Experienced, talented players. As mentioned here, we will need a striker to come in if we want to remain/become a force in the league. Van Persie must be rotated. Gervinho will be going to the African Cup of Nations. It simply would not be prudent, in a football sense, or in a long-term economic sense, to gamble on the fitness and availability of the starting eleven. Nearer the time I will go into more detail on which positions and which players might do the trick (in case Arsene is reading) but for now, suffice to say that my fear is of a long, dissatisfactory January.

5-      Jack Wilshere failing to return.

I am crossing each of my fingers over the neighbouring finger just thinking about this one. It’s actually making it very difficult to type. We have often seen, most recently with Vermaelen, that we can’t exactly trust the announcements made by the club regarding return dates for injured players. When Wilshere first had his foot in a protective brace/cast thing it was a ‘precaution’. That was at the end of July. Since then various dates have been bandied about, but the current consensus seems to be that he could be back for the end of the year. I would rather not rush his return in any way- we are getting used to playing without him at the moment. If it takes an extra few weeks to be absolutely sure, so be it. However, my fear is that, like with Vermaelen last season, the date will just keep getting pushed further and further back until there is no sign of Jack at all for the remainder of the season. I think we miss what he brings to our midfield, a bit of forward-moving dynamism. This is the kind of luck on which seasons are made and destroyed, so I, like most Gooners, wish for a speedy (but in-no way rushed) return for Arsenal’s great white hope.

So there they are, the five things that I really don’t want to see happen this season, but probably will. If I could choose one to avoid most fervently, it would be the second one. I can cope with bad results, with crashing out of cups spectacularly, with dragging our feet in the transfer market. I can’t cope with finishing behind the Spuds. It is, after all, against the natural order of things.

Follow me on Twitter @joeblogsarsenal

A Nice Cold Glass of Schadenfreude

As a magnanimous gentleman, could I please extend my congratulations to Tottenham Hotspur for their magnificent performance last night. Yes, the best team in North London lost, but it was by a mere one-goal margin and was to the famed Rubin Kazan, who are currently taking 6^th place in the esteemed Russian Premier League by storm.

Tottenham, bravely rotating their £213m squad, had to make do with a real paucity of talent: William Gallas, for example, has played in just one World Cup final! Roman Pavlyuchenko has a pathetic 45 caps at international level. In an act of true barrel-scraping, unknown youngster Jermain Defoe was even called into the team. It is testament to the fortitude and commitment of this group of players, North London’s finest, that the score was not in any way humiliating.

Tottenham have now played 4 of their group games in the Europa League (which Rafael Van der Vaart has described as Europe’s finest league), and are bravely clinging on to third place behind big-spending megaclubs Rubin Kazan and Panthessaloníkios Athlitikós.

5 Things I Would Like to See Happen This Season.

Hello there,

With no match until Saturday, and very little happening Arsenalistically today, I thought I would entertain myself with a little list. So here it is; the 5 things I would like to see happen this season:

1. Theo Walcott having a 20+ goal season. I could add to this that I would like to see him be generally more influential in the final third. Walcott is a very divisive footballer, but I personally am a fan. I like the way his pace terrifies defenders, and the fact that by simply being on the team sheet teams are forced to play a deeper line against us. I also love his attitude. Look at his face in the moment after he scored against Chelsea at the weekend (a habit of his, incidentally, which also endears him to me.) Critics often say that he has no 'footballing brain'. Look at the double-touch that takes him past two static defenders after he has gone to ground. There is something there, and I would love to see his obvious potential fulfilled this season. Not least because Theo scoring a bit more would take some of the pressure off of the busy van Persie. Which brings me to my next point...


2. A striker coming in in January. Wenger being like he is this doesn't seem likely. After all, we do have two strikers outside of RvP who are capable of scoring. Chamakh, though, looks a totally different player to the one who kept the team afloat at the start of last season. No confidence, no touch, and no patience from many fans. Park, who scored a wonderful goal against Bolton in the League Cup the other week, may or may not be the solution when or if van Persie gets broken. A team truly challenging for honours, though, would have extra options. Look at the striking options at Man United; if Rooney's not scoring, they have that guy named after a vegetable. If not him, the tall Bulgarian one with the face of a serial killer. God, even Michael Owen. All of them can score goals when called upon. I would love to see us sign a striker of Benzema-quality in January. But in reality I will settle for a Darren Bent-esque signing. Not for 20 million quid though. That's ridiculous.


3. This one's simple. A permanent back four finally being solidified on. The two teams that have conceded the fewest goals this season are Man City and Newcastle (not a typo, they have somehow only conceded 7 goals). These two both have very settled back lines. We will, sadly, have to wait until the return of Bacary Sagna before we can start our preffered back four. When we do I think it will be Gibbs, Vermaelen, Mertesacker, Sagna. I personally would prefer to keep Santos at left back but I suppose Gibbs is seen as the future. Similarly, I would rather Koscielny over Mertesacker generally, but the German's height and presence is an advantage and will hopefully compliment Vermaelen's reading of the game and positioning. Either way, settled defences lead to improved cooperation, which lead to clean sheets, which lead to wonderful, delicious points.


4. This one's slightly more abstract. I want to see the return of 'fear'. Not in our players, obviously, but in the opposition. It was often said of the Invincibles that teams would be beaten just by looking at our team sheet. 'Bollocks, Henry, Pires, Ljungberg, Bergkamp and Vieira are playing', they'd say. 'Shall we even bother?' Sadly this is no longer the case. There is a definite sense that Arsenal are fragile mentally, and that teams can, with a bit of application, take points off of us. Slowly, perhaps, we have seen a slight reversal of this trend over the last 9 games or so. The wins against Sunderland and Stoke were so pleasing because they were both against the type of team that is perceived as being able to 'bully' Arsenal. So too the win at Chelsea. The fear, I'm sure, will only return with results, and we have been amassing some of those over recent weeks. To reinstate it, we need to continuing mopping up points in the Premier League, and a nice unbeaten run in the other competitions wouldn't hurt at all.


5. A controversial one, this. I want to see the return of Abou Diaby. A player so divisive he makes Moses look like an amateur. I have Arsenal-supporting friends who have said they will not watch matches that he plays, such is the ire he inspires in them. On the other hand, there are people who defend him rigorously, saying that he is a genuine talent whose career has been sadly blighted by now-constant injuries. Remember the Diaby that we saw glimpses of at the world cup? Remember this Diaby? Ever-optimistic, I’m with the latter camp. I really like the dynamism in his game, the way his telescopic legs combined with quick feet make him so difficult to tackle, and the way that people always describe his legs as ‘telescopic’ when they mean ‘long’. Thus, I hope for a return for a footballer whose career has been sadly sidetracked, and whose driving forward play (err... at times) we could really do with at the moment.




So, those are my top five things I would like to see happen, from an Arsenal point of view, this season. Please comment with your own, and let me know whether you agree, disagree, or didn't really read mine.


Until next time,


Joe