After the roaring success* of ‘5 things I would like to see happen this season’, here comes my slightly more pessimistic attempt. Here it goes, the 5 things I don’t want to see happen this season, but probably will.
1- Drawing Barcelona in the next round of the Champions League.
Let’s assume for the moment that we get through our group, but that we come second, which is currently perfectly feasible. Now, I enjoyed beating Barcelona at home last season as much as the next man. Football was made for nights like that one. It was brilliant, fantastic. But do you know what would be more brilliant and fantastic? Sneaking through to the semis without playing anyone good. I mean it. Imagine drawing Apoel in the round of 16, and then Trabzonspor in the quarters. It’s technically possible, and while that is the case I will be hoping for trips to Cyprus and Turkey come the spring. I know what the purists among you will be saying: ‘You’ve got to beat the best to be the best.’ Nope. You don’t. Look at Chelsea’s route to the final in 2008: they beat Olympiacos, Fenerbahçe and then Liverpool in extra time. Were it not for their diversity-loving captain’s hysterical penalty-bottling antics, they would have had their clammy paws on that giant trophy having beaten only one really decent team in Man United. Playing Barcelona is all well and good, and victory against better teams is more glorious. It’s also more unlikely, and I’m a percentage-playing kind of guy.
*Based on no statistics or ‘facts’.
2- Tottenham finishing above us in the Premier League.
This feels weird. The last time we missed a St. Totteringham’s day was, if I’m not mistaken, 1995. A lot has changed since then: countries have been invaded, terrorism has reshaped the world forever, the global economy has gone into recession, Ashley Cole has single-handedly defeated slavery in football. In these worrying years, one thing has remained reassuringly constant- Spurs have been shit. Even in recent years when we haven’t been all that good, they have been worse, usually by a long way. Because of this, it feels odd to say that they are now favourites to finish ahead of us, but it’s true. Their starting eleven is (arguably) the equal or better of ours. They seem to have gelled. They also seem to have picked up the irritating habit of winning when they deserve to lose, whereas in the past they had perfected the amusing art of losing when they deserved to win. Finishing behind Tottenham is not something I anticipate with any pleasure, but it might just happen this season. Don’t, however, underestimate the Spuds’ capacity for cocking up. There’s hope yet.
3- A seemingly-unlikely yet somehow inevitable loss in February or March that derails an otherwise-promising season.
It’s happened before and one suspects it will happen again. Last year’s was particularly severe. The loss to Birmingham (good riddance, I am keenly looking for their results in the Championship this year in the hope that they stay down) in the Carling Cup led to the worst run of results of Wenger’s reign, a period of horrendous form that is only tentatively being reversed now, eight months later. On the morning of that match, we were in four competitions. Three weeks later, after losses in all three cups and a couple of draws in the league, we were out of all four. This season we should avoid Birmingham, but the spectre of that game will hang over us in the spring. I have a fear that one bad loss in February or March could lead to a collapse in form and confidence the like of which we seem to be repeating annually, at around the same time. A self-fulfilling prophecy of gloom.
4- No players being signed in January.
I do not think the team is in need of a drastic overhaul. What we have at the moment is a good enough team to challenge for the top four, which I think we have a decent chance of making. But when did this become an acceptable goal for this football club? I am not accusing Wenger of complacency- the man’s desire to win is palpable. But I do think his unwillingness to spend in accordance with the prices of the modern football market, ludicrous as it is, means we risk being left behind. We are not as far off as detractors would have you believe; as recently as February we were genuinely involved in a title race. But we are not any longer. To rectify this we need to build on the decent run of form we are on currently and with a large helping of luck might stay on until Christmas, and sign some players. Experienced, talented players. As mentioned here, we will need a striker to come in if we want to remain/become a force in the league. Van Persie must be rotated. Gervinho will be going to the African Cup of Nations. It simply would not be prudent, in a football sense, or in a long-term economic sense, to gamble on the fitness and availability of the starting eleven. Nearer the time I will go into more detail on which positions and which players might do the trick (in case Arsene is reading) but for now, suffice to say that my fear is of a long, dissatisfactory January.
5- Jack Wilshere failing to return.
I am crossing each of my fingers over the neighbouring finger just thinking about this one. It’s actually making it very difficult to type. We have often seen, most recently with Vermaelen, that we can’t exactly trust the announcements made by the club regarding return dates for injured players. When Wilshere first had his foot in a protective brace/cast thing it was a ‘precaution’. That was at the end of July. Since then various dates have been bandied about, but the current consensus seems to be that he could be back for the end of the year. I would rather not rush his return in any way- we are getting used to playing without him at the moment. If it takes an extra few weeks to be absolutely sure, so be it. However, my fear is that, like with Vermaelen last season, the date will just keep getting pushed further and further back until there is no sign of Jack at all for the remainder of the season. I think we miss what he brings to our midfield, a bit of forward-moving dynamism. This is the kind of luck on which seasons are made and destroyed, so I, like most Gooners, wish for a speedy (but in-no way rushed) return for Arsenal’s great white hope.
So there they are, the five things that I really don’t want to see happen this season, but probably will. If I could choose one to avoid most fervently, it would be the second one. I can cope with bad results, with crashing out of cups spectacularly, with dragging our feet in the transfer market. I can’t cope with finishing behind the Spuds. It is, after all, against the natural order of things.
surely van persie leaving in the summer should be on this list?
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