England 1 - 1 France: It'll Do

Overall, let me say that I am totally happy with a point against France. Before the game I would have taken a draw, and after it I was content to have done so. Nor do I believe the idea (as posited by the charming Patrice Evra) that England should have been embarrassed by the way they played, or that, in his words, England did to France what Chelsea did to Barcelona. Bullshit. We were defensive, yes, but it wasn't the anti-football that Chelsea played in Europe this season.


In the first twenty or so minutes against France, we had a lot of reasons to be cheerful. Milner had burst through on goal only to shank horribly wide from the acute angle, Oxlade-Chamberlain had pressed well and the attacking impetus was with England. This more or less ended with our goal (a well-taken cushioned header is always nice to see). From that point on we were on the back foot, but we still looked threatening when we had the ball on the break.


Quite quickly, Nasri equalised (his celebration to the 'French media' showing that he is not in any way self-obsessed). From then on, how much did France really create? Hart dealt with a decent Diarra header from a corner with an excellent reflex save, and the rest were shots from outside the box. The line being peddled (again, largely by Evra-types) that we were lucky to survive is nonsense.


That said, we did allow them to dominate possession in a way that made everybody quite uncomfortable. From my position, what seemed largely to be the problem was the gap between Scott Parker and the defence- there wasn't one. He is supposed to be the line of defence after the midfield, not a third centre back. As Nasri et al had more and more possession outside our box, the defence dropped deeper and deeper, and Parker got sucked in with them. What should have happened is that the defence should have kept a slightly higher line, trusting in their ability to intercept through balls through the packed box, and Parker should have stayed higher up, pressuring the person with the ball, rather than dropping to allow them time and space to shoot. The problem, one suspects, is that he is afraid of getting beaten, and decides to take the seemingly safer option. Of course, he should trust in his own ability to make challenges or at least not allow the attacking player time to make a decision.


It seems strange to criticise Parker, who I actually thought played an important role in breaking up their attacks before they could really start, which of course is his job. But it was notable how many times he seemed to be playing alongside the defence, rather than ahead of them.


Overall, it's fair to say that we ceded possession to the technically superior French, and it paid off. They couldn't break us down. If we had had Rooney, Wilshere, and, erm... our other technically gifted midfielders/forwards, I might be annoyed at the way we had played. But we don't, and we won't have a technically talented team for many years, if ever. So Hodgson, rightly, is making do with what we do have, and I have to say I'm more than happy to see it.


What will be interesting is how we line up, and how we take on the matches against Ukraine and Sweden. Unlike France, they are not replete with gifted players, and are certainly seen as slightly more beatable. It will be up to Hodgson whether we stick with the difficult to break down side that we have seen against Norway, Belgium, and France, or if we twist with an adventurous outlook. We can't change the line-up that much (look at our bench on Monday for an example of why), but we can go out with a slightly more positive outlook. Whether we will, remains to be seen, and whether we should is worthy of debate.

England 1-0 Belgium

Although that was a pretty unininspiring game, I was really happy with the way England set up and played. We were up against a much more creative and, probably, better team. Yet we looked solid, didn't concede too many chances, and took ours well when it came. It doesn't make for thrilling viewing, but it does make for points in group stage games.77

Players that stood out for me were... erm. Creative expression and displays of skill were thin on the ground to say the least. Ashley Young coped pretty well with a slightly more playmaker-y role, incuding the great ball through to Welbeck for the goal that won the game. Welbeck took the goal very well indeed. Will he start ahead of Carroll? You'd think not, as Carroll provides more of the English 'rough-and-tumble' up front (read- he uses his elbows more), but I know who I'd rather have on the pitch in the event of a one on one. Defoe and Walcott both did well when they came on. I wonder if Walcott will start either. He's certainly a useful player to have on the bench, but I suppose a lot of it will depend on the formation. 4-5-1, you'd expect him to start.

The game itself doesn't bear much analysis, but the result will stand England in good stead going into the group games. Of course, the Cahill thing was annoying. If one Chelsea centre half had to miss the tournament, why oh why couldn't it be Captain Bionic? Cahill will no doubt be incensed that the injury came about so needlessly, and unsportingly. I, on the other hand, am incensed that a certain gurning, trophy-stealing, alleged-racist ex-captain couldn't have been the one to take the fall.

Now, of course, Martin Kelly has been drafted in to fill the gap. He won't play (please God), and as I mentioned previously, there is still decent depth at centre back. Terry and Lescott will be no worse as a partnership than Terry and Cahill would have been. At current rates,we will lose at least two more key players before our first game a week today, so maybe we should have a couple of days of training with those soft sponge balls, and helmets.


I don't think we learnt much from Belgium that we didn't already know. We are a technically limited team, but if we can retain that solid shape that sucks a lot of the fun out of the game but makes defending a lot easier, we will remain hard to beat. Hopefully that will be enough to see us through the group stage.


I'll be back over the weekend after watching the first couple of matches, and in time for a preview of England-France. Until then.

Last but not least

Finally, we arrive at the strikers. I’d imagine it’s not going to make for pretty reading, so close your eyes if that makes it easier.

Andy Carroll

Had a shocker of a season really, despite his much-discussed upturn in form towards the end. Probably that late boost (which still was nothing that special) sealed his inclusion. Problematically, he might well be starting our first two games. I say problematically because, whilst I don’t think he’s necessarily a bad player, England will very much revert to the long-ball game that seems to come quite naturally to them if he is on the pitch. Sadly, he doesn’t have the talent that that style needs- the ability to hold up the ball intelligently and then lay it off when the midfield or wingers arrive. Nor does he really have the touch or presence to perform the ‘battering-ram’ role. In essence, he’s a big man, but not the right man for the big-man role.

Danny Welbeck

Scored a fair few goals for United this season and certainly showed glimpses of being excellent. Like most young players he hasn’t been a consistent threat, but I suppose tournament football doesn’t call so much for consistency. He also will be less-known to our opponents than most of the old guard, which can only be an advantage. I personally would have taken him over Sturridge, if only for the obvious reason that Sturridge plays for Chelsea.

Jermain Defoe

Scored 11 goals this season without playing that consistently for Tottenham, which is a decent return. For a reason I can’t quite explain, I really dislike him, but his goalscoring record throughout his career has been very good and he certainly deserves to be in the squad. What role will he play, though? Assuming (and nobody’s sure), that Hodgson will play a 4-4-2 in the first two games, you sense that Carroll and Wellbeck will start. Alternatively, if it’s a 4-3-3/4-5-1 type thing, then that ‘1’ will most likely be given to Carroll as the aforementioned ‘big man’. Personally, I’d rather see a proven goalscorer get a bit more game time but I predict he’ll be seeing a lot of the bench.

Wayne Rooney

How costly does that stupid kick against Montenegro seem now? For one moment in which he lost his head, Rooney could come back into the team after they’re already out of the Euros. The worst case scenario, of course, is that England lose their first two games, and Rooney is forced to play a humiliating 90-minute consolation match against Ukraine. Putting  a less bleak spin on it, however, picture this: we scrape a draw with France and beat Sweden, then welcome Rooney back into a team now filled with confidence. We dispatch Ukraine and progress to the next round with a rested, hungry Rooney ready to do some serious damage. It could happen. Of course, he would then get sent off in the quarter final, causing a media hate campaign that ends in a flaming Shrek-like effigy being hung from a Fleet Street office, but that’s by the by. Rooney is a very, very rare England player in that he is capable of making something from nothing, of winning games on his own. Our performance in the first two games will determine whether he gets the chance to do that at all.

So, there you have it. The ideal first eleven would be a match for all but two or three teams that we could face, but the odds of all eleven being able to start are so slim that we would do better, realistically, to consider ourselves in the third tier of teams. If the top three are Germany, Spain, and the Netherlands, and the next are Italy, France and Portugal, we’re probably a rung below that lot. That might be being pessimistic, it will become clearer after we watch the final round of friendlies. Still, with England, better to prepare for disappointment than to build up any semblance of hope!

I’ll be back on June the 3^rd to dissect England’s game with Belgium at Wembley. Until then.

Middling to Average

Day 3 of my ceaseless quest to enlighten you on the Euros, and it’s time to look at those making up England’s midfield. Compared to the depth of the defence, it’s pretty sparse:

Steven Gerrard

He, along with quite a few others, is part of that ‘Golden Generation’ which we heard so much about but still failed to ever progress past a quarter final. He certainly remains one of the biggest names in the squad, and will likely start every game, but he doesn’t fill me (or anyone) with confidence, because he has simply failed to deliver on the international stage so many times. Debate is ongoing at the moment about whether he is actually that good any more, and whilst I don’t think you could say he’s past it, he certainly has seemed more inclined to spray long balls around, rather than pick up the ball and drive forwards himself as we used to see. Whether he’s past his best or not, if we want to progress, we need him to be playing well.

Frank Lampard

Currently the situation regarding his thigh injury is unclear. Despite who he is, it would be a blow for England if he was declared unfit for the tournament (not least because Henderson would be his replacement). The consensus seems to be that he would sit deep alongside Scott Parker in a midfield 3, and to be fair he has been doing that fairly well of late. Of course, that would mean the ancient Lampard-Gerrard conundrum rears its boring head once again, but maybe the deployment of Fwank in a role further back would ease that. If he’s injured, we’re seriously light of options in the middle.

Scott Parker

A guaranteed starter. Parker has suddenly found himself an integral part of the England team despite not getting a look-in for years. I haven’t loved him at Tottenham (naturally); I often think that if he were not English he would be seen less as a ‘40s throw-back Battle of Britain fighter pilot type, and more of a Nigel de Jong thug type. His vision on the ball is about as limited as an Alan Shearer tactical analysis, but that’s OK because he doesn’t need to be the one playing the defence-splitting pass, he needs to be the one making sneaky fouls before midfielders can bring forwards into play. This is something he does well.

James Milner

Milner seems to have been around for ages (in fact, according to Wikipedia, he made his England debut in 2009). He is an asset in tournament football because of his versatility: he is alright if nothing special on either wing; alright if nothing special in an attacking position in the middle; alright if nothing special as an emergency full back. Useful guy to have around, but probably (injury to Lampard permitting) won’t start.

Stewart Downing

Meh. Downing has provided the only properly controversial decision of Hodgson’s reign so far: most people looked at his stats (zero league goals, zero league assists) and decreed that he is rubbish. Personally, I think that the assists thing is slightly off: he was largely feeding the ball to Andy Carroll, who spent the first 95% of the season doing his best impression of a donkey who has been kept down a year in school. If Downing had been assisting a more capable striker, his stats would have improved slightly. That aside, watching him play tells you more than statistics ever could: he is a bog-standard, unexciting winger, with a skill level typical of most of England’s second string. Meh. Meh. Meh.

Theo Walcott

Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I remain a fan. His return of 8 goals and 11 assists this season has been decent, if not remarkable, and he has that ability to finish instinctively, provided he doesn’t have any time to think about what he’s going to do. He will probably start, and if nothing else the knowledge of what his pace can do to teams will mean they can flood forward less freely. It is frustrating when he tackles himself, but he also poses a genuine threat and, without Rooney starting, we need all of those we can get.

Ashley Young

Young is one of those players who I never really thought anything of, until he moved to United and suddenly seemed incredibly dangerous even though he’s actually nothing that special (another example would be Valencia). Could start ahead of Downing, but then we will have two very fast wingers with arguable end product starting. To be fair to him, he’s scored in his last 4 England games so he must be doing something right, but I just don’t see him having a big impact. Call it a hunch.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Clearly there’s something to the Ox. He comes on against Norway and almost sets up a goal with his very first touch, in what was an otherwise dull game. He’s one of those rare players that every time he’s on the ball, there’s a certain expectation that he’s going to do something with it. For this reason, I hope he makes more than a few conciliatory cameos in this tournament. If we’re drawing with France, say, I’d love to see him come on with 70 minutes gone and really get a chance. Having said that, I am well aware that it is somewhat alarming that so much vague hope rests on his admittedly burly shoulders. I fully supported Wenger’s decision (he’ll be glad to hear) to use the Ox sparingly throughout this season. Look what a full season did to Jack Wilshere (how much brighter would the midfielders section look with him in it?) I hope that the pressure of a country that has only really seen him play a bit-part so far doesn’t affect him, when and if he gets a decent shot. I’d like to see more Michael Owen in ’98 than Theo Walcott in ’06.

So there you have it, the cream of English midfielders. If it looks a bit more like semi-skimmed, gone-off milk, then blame the FA. Or grass-roots football. Or Paul Scholes. The fact is , a starting 5 (for the first 2 games) of Walcott, Parker, Lampard, Gerrard, Young, is decent and arguably could progress from the group. The problem is that Lampard might be out, and substitutions will need to made. That’s where Downing, Milner, and maybe even Henderson(!) come in and start to make everything look a bit bland. Generally, it takes a whole squad to do well in these tournaments, and the midfield is somewhere where we’re likely to come up short.

Tomorrow I’ll return to consider the final piece in the jigsaw, the forwards. Until then.

                                         This beige square sums up my thoughts on Stewart Downing

Clean Sheets and Dirty Talk

OK, so today it’s the defenders that made the 23. With the injury to Barry and the call-up of Jagielka we are now taking 8 rather than 7, so let’s have a look:

Glen Johnson

Like most Liverpool players, he didn’t tear up any trees this season but he is experienced enough to do the job adequately. You worry about the game against France though- Johnson is not particularly disciplined in terms of keeping shape at the back, and he will be up against Ribery, who will be interlinking with Nasri and Benzema. If Walcott (or whoever) is pinning the opposition left-back back with pace, Johnson is an asset on the overlap. If we are the ones being pinned back, you sense his positional play will be a bit of a weakness.

Gary Cahill

The second starting centre half position will be between him and Lescott. He was an asset to Chelsea during their push for (or, more accurately, purchase of) the Champions League, and that kind of backs-to-the-wall defending will no doubt stand him in good stead if he is chosen to start. Still, he doesn’t fill me with that warm, safe, Tony Adams-type feeling that a real English centre-half should. Probably the Chelsea factor.

John Terry

Bleurgh. At least he’ll feel at home in ‘liberal’ Ukraine.

Joleon Lescott

Decent. The second centre half position is one where we have good options. I thought he was excellent for Man City pretty consistently (with the exception of that near-fatal header back to Cisse on the last day), and I will be happy if he starts, with Cahill on the bench.

Ashley Cole

If you can look past the loathability (and I can’t), he’s a very good left-back and one of the few players England have that would get into most other international teams.

Phil Jagielka

It shows the relative strength in depth we have at centre back that Jagielka is our fourth choice. He’s another decent if unspectacular player, and there’s no shame in that when it’s unlikely that he’ll play at all.

Leighton Baines

I don’t love him or hate him, but he’s a decent, solid left-back. I must admit I don’t watch Everton all that much, but I don’t recall any massive Baines howlers. I’m in the rare position of hoping Ashley Cole doesn’t get injured, but if he does, at least we have another qualified left-back (unlike at right-back). This will probably be Cole’s last tournament and so it will be good to get Baines some international experience so he can disappoint us next time around.

Phil Jones

Is more likely to be used in case of injury (or confidence-shattering mishap) to Glen Johnson than anywhere in the centre. This is worrying. The man with the rubber face   is not really a right-back at all. At Man. United he has been pinged from position to position like a Chelsea WAG and has suffered for it. Clearly a great prospect for the future but why take him as specific right-back cover? Ah yes. The lack of viable alternatives. That’s why.

So, there you have it. I think if there is any chance of us progressing out of the group, it will have to be down to an extremely tight defence, because I can’t see us setting the world alight with our attackers. Luckily, this is probably the strongest area of the squad. A starting back four of Johnson, Terry, Lescott, Cole, whilst not exactly Italy in 2006 , is experienced and looks good on paper. There is convincing back-up everywhere but at right-back. Let me remind you that Greece won Euro 2004 scoring only 7 goals. Spain won the World Cup scoring 8. In tournament football, clean sheets are everything, and I’m feeling surprisingly positive about the defence overall.

Back tomorrow when it all starts to go downhill as I take a look at the midfield.

My kingdom for increased squad depth

So, with the Euros heading our way faster than John Terry towards a trophy he has contributed nothing towards, it is the duty of your humble blogger to analyse the England  squad that Hodgson has finalised this morning. I’ll start off today with the goalkeepers, and work through the rest as the week goes on. I am only one man…

Goalkeepers:

Joe Hart

It is worrying to me that so much seems to depend on him staying fit. The thing is, he isn’t that amazing. I’m not saying he’s a bad goalkeeper, far from it. But his shot-stopping ability is far, far better than his handling of crosses (in terms of a truly safe goalkeeper, England have never replaced David Seaman). Hart is excellent, but his deficiencies under high balls have been masked by the fact that he had the Premier League’s stingiest defence ahead of him, including a rejuvenated Gael Clichy and Zabaleta as the left and right full backs. He wasn’t facing the barrage in the league that he will be at the Euros with the distinctly less-good Baines and Johnson occupying those positions. However, he does seem to reassure the defence that plays in front of him and one has the feeling that he is good enough to keep the number one for the foreseeable future. And his shot-stopping ability is actually excellent. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic.

Rob Green

He was decent against Norway at the weekend. The reaction to his admittedly ill-timed mistake against the USA two-years ago was typically hysterical and must have done wonderful things to his confidence. Again, he is a decent shot-stopper but less than sure under high balls from out wide. Come to think of it, that seems to be what separates the good goalies from the great. You can count the number of current goalkeepers that are actually confidence-inspiring when facing both shots and crosses on your fingers. Not a disastrous back-up goalkeeper to have, but isn’t exactly going to inspire fear in opposition strikers.

Jack Butland

Unsurprisingly, I have never seen this guy play, so I can’t comment on his ability. What I can comment on is the indictment his call-up is on the paucity of English goalkeeping talent. We have one goalkeeper who arguably would not look out of place in the really great teams. Rob Green is a decent deputy, as above. But the fact that the third choice goalkeeper is a 19-year old who has only ever played in League Two is, if you think about it, astonishing. And this is not to put him down, if he’s the third-best available then good luck to him, I’m sure he’ll go on to have a great career in the Premier League. But that’s in the future…

Let’s compare to some of the other teams going to the Euros. Spain will be taking along Casillas, Valdes and Reina (I assume). Three goalkeepers who would start for the best teams in England (and I include Reina in that, who I still think is in the Premier League’s top two goalkeepers. He’s their third choice.) OK, England are not at Spain’s level, and if we compare all of our players to their frankly ludicrous pool of talent we’ll be getting suicidal pretty quickly. What about France, who are probably just about at our level, at least defensively? Lloris, Mandanda and Carrasso. 2 excellent and one very good. And, you’ll notice, none of them have only ever played in the fourth division. Holland: Stekelenburg, Michel Vorm, Tim Krul. Russia: Akinfeev, Malafeev, and (er) Anton Shunin, who admittedly I do not know about but plays for Dinamo Moscow.

This has become a rant. The point I am essentially making is that we appear very limited in terms of indigenous goalkeeping talent at the moment. To be reduced to taking a 19-year old uncapped new kid, for the country that has produced Banks, Shilton and Seaman, seems quite sad.

In fact, why not give Seaman a quick call? He played the other day and looked just as good as the old days, until he was chipped by the lead guitarist off of Kasabian. But Seaman’s never been lobbed in an important game for England...

I’ll be back tomorrow with a look at the defenders. Three of whom play for Chelsea. Expect bile.

Tail, meet legs.

Err, sorry about that.

Firstly, the excuses for my three-month absence. Suffice to say, I was betrayed. After finally summoning up the courage to write about our end to the season (summary: phew) something terrible happened that made me consider whether I had any love left for football. Seeing that gurning clown prancing about in his shinpads, my mind turned to this blog. Could I really start it up again in the knowledge that football can bring that amount of pain? Where would I begin?

However, I have battled through, and due to an overwhelming surge in popular demand, I have dusted off the old laptop and am ready to spew my thoughts on football into the minds of my multitudinous readers.

'But Joe, the season's finished!' I hear you exclaim. Well, yes. But this year ends in an even number, so to fill the void that is normally filled by watching static for 2 hours at 3pm on a Saturday, we're going to have wondrous, fulfilling international football to feast upon. Well, 'feast upon' is a bit strong. 'Watch' would be more accurate.

I know, I know, it's passé to like international football. It's out of fashion to drink beer, take your top off, paint a red cross on your face and cheer on Ing-er-land to a heroic group-stage exit. But I'm going to anyway, because I bloody love it, and you should too. Enjoy the way that big players consistently fail to turn up at major tournaments. Embrace the inevitable controversy surrounding racist Ukrainian fans. Take pleasure in the way that in England's draw with Sweden, most of the actual viewing will be of stunning blonde girls in the crowd who catch the eye of pervy cameramen. Yes, the football will be of a much lower standard. Much, much lower, if you're supporting England. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, and I'm going to.

With that in mind, I have set aside the weeks between June the 8th and July the 1st for a veritable buffet of football. And, if you've forgiven my 3-month absence from the blogging world (are people still saying 'blogosphere'?) you'll be able to read my collected ramblings on the progress of England, as well as the other games I watch, and a variety of various other Euro and Arsenal related things.

Don't let the presence of John Terry spoil it for you. If you're English, support England and, you never know, we might just pull off a Greece. If you're from a non-European country (and a warm hello to my few regular readers in Taiwan and Kazakhstan), may I recommend Spain or Germany, they're likely to bring you the most joy.

So, it's good to be back. I'll return later this week after Hodgson's confirmation of the final 23 on Tuesday. See you then.

                                                                      Even the Swedes are jealous...

Sunderland 1-2 Arsenal: God Does His Thing

Sometimes, too often, there are weekends where everything goes wrong in football. Arsenal lose, all of our competitors and close challengers win, Stoke and Blackburn, Bolton and Wolves, all of the teams you love to hate somehow to conspire to do wonderfully. These, in turn, are balanced out by those wonderful weekends where pretty much everything falls your way.

This was one of those. Clearly, 3 points for us were super-vital. More on the gaining of those points in a minute. We also saw Liverpool, Newcastle and Chelsea lose. Unfortunately, the Newcastle result came at the hands of an astonishingly effective Totnum performance, but I suppose if we're being ultra-realistic, we have to accept (gulp) that that bunch will be finishing above us and that we will be fighting for the fourth place with the three other teams mentioned above. From that perspective, the Spuds did us a favour, even if it did stick in your throat slightly to see Redknapp celebrating so irritatingly 5 times. He reminded me of a dog that can't quite believe it's being allowed to go for a walk.

I must confess to not seeing our match in its entirety, and thus I can't comment overly on our performance. I watched one of those half-hour highlight packages afterwards, but you all know what happened so I won't detail that. One thing that won't have been discussed much is Aaron Ramsey. I know he has been criticised a bit lately, which hasn't been entirely unwarranted. I was very glad he got a goal, and so soon after coming on. Despite his less brilliant (though still not by any means terrible) performances since the new year, I remain convinced that he is going to be a major component of Arsenal's midfield for a while to come, and it was good to see him celebrating a goal. Henry, rightfully, grabbed most of the attention. What can a mere blogger say about him that hasn't been said a thousand times already. The man was simply born to be part of the history of our football club. I have loved watching him celebrate his three goals almost more than score them- he celebrates like a fan. That goal was so important to the club, to the fans, and to the man himself. It's odd, as well, that he would score an injury-time winner when notable football sage and all round prediction guru Mark Lawrenson would have bet against him scoring in the league at all. (Disclaimer: alarming smile in link, open with caution). Don't worry though, your license fee pennies were better spent this week, when Guru Lawrenson out-predicted the Muppets.

Sentiments aside, it goes without saying that those three points were absolutely enormous on a day when all of the teams around us dropped points. Not only do we gain three points on Liverpool, Chelsk and Newcastle, we leapfrogged Chelsea into fourth place. What is it about football that means you are constantly 'leapfrogging' teams. In what other circumstances is that word used? We overtook them. Whatever we did, we are now in fourth place. I remember solemnly predicting a few weeks back tbat we were out of the race for fourth. More proof, were it needed, that what you are reading are the semi-formed ramblings of a Mark Lawrenson-level bullshitter. What I had forgotten was how crazily quickly things can change in this game. Chelsea are on a run of form that make our recent run of form look like a slightly less bad run of form. Their 10-match record looks like: DDDLWWDDDL. Yikes. I suspect that that run can't go on forever, they will no doubt find their feet soon. Which is why taking full advantage like we did over Sunderland is so important. There is now very much a four way race for that one spot, and although we have crept ahead, there is still a third of the season to go. I'm not sure if we're favourites for fourth, but we have shown resolve and tenacity (as well as luck that our run of awful form coincided with Chelsea's) in the last two weeks to claw our way back to the very minimum level that should be expected of us. Fingers crossed we are gathering the necessary momentum.


In a weekend dominated by off-the-pitch matters, we did our job, and that's all I'm really interested in. That Thierry Henry was the one to finish the job off made it that much sweeter. This was one of those weekends when everything goes your way (even Stoke lost!) so let's enjoy that while we can. Coming up is the small matter of a midweek game against the Italian league leaders. I'm going, so will write on my return. Let's hope it's a good one, but for today and tomorrow, let's just enjoy our leapfrogging.


Until next time,
Joe


Follow me on Twitter @joeblogsarsenal

Arsenal 7-1 Blackburn

First thought: phew. It goes without saying that we needed a win
yesterday. It wasn't obvious that we would get it, and I certainly
didn't predict that we would get it with such ease. Before I describe
the performance and the impact one might hope it has on morale for
games to come, I need to add the caveat that Blackburn were truly
awful. Watching them yesterday, it was very much clear why they are 19th in the league. Add to that the fact that they played with 10
men for most of the game after Gael Givet was rightly sent off, and
we'd be wrong to take too much from the thrashing we delivered.

Having said that, let's not be too hard on ourselves. This is the
Blackburn team that beat United a couple of weeks ago. Scoring 7
against any Premier League side is a feat. Gael Givet was sent off
after we had quite clinically 'won' the game in the first half. They
were terrible, but we made them look worse.

I was so pleased with the impact of Walcott and AOC. They were very
effective, and when you have wingers (or wide forwards, as neither was
really playing on the wing) that are getting behind the
defence so effectively, you're going to create chances. And when you have a striker
of the calibre of Robin van Persie in the box, chances are you're
going to score from some of those chances. People might look at van
Persie's goals yesterday and think they were all relatively
straight-forward. And in terms of the actual finishing, they were. But
watch the replays and focus on the man's movement in the build up to
each. He's like a ghost. Defenders know that they are playing against
the most in-form striker in the world, but they can't defend against
him because his movement makes that impossible. He is phenomenal to
watch. 3 goals and 2 assists yesterday, one of which was a visionary
through ball to the Ox. If you didn't know before, let me tell you:
this is one of the best footballers ever to play for Arsenal. Bold
words, I know. Let me put it another way: he has now scored more goals for Arsenal than Dennis Bergkamp. That says it all. Obviously, one of our main priorities now has to be
keeping him. He deserves to have a team built around him.

Others impressed. Rosicky started and looked really good, as he has
done recently. Koscielny is a very solid defender. More ammo against
the mugs who argue that Wenger inherited a defence and can't spot
defensive talent. For every Cygan, there's a Koscielny. I'm a big fan
of the Kos.

So what does this comprehensive victory mean? Certainly not that we've
turned a corner. We may have, that remains to be seen. Maybe we never
had a corner to turn, perhaps we were just on a straight road but had
foolishly gone into a Little Chef and eaten an omelette which had
turned out to be made with 6-week old eggs, got salmonella, and had to
spend a month recovering. Or something. One of the best ways to get
out of a deep rut is to spank a load of useless-ex-allardyce-long-

ball-hoof-merchant-relegation-fodder clowns 7-1, so let's hope it was the tonic that allows us to improve our form
to the extent that we can at least start to idly dream about not
playing in the Europa League next year.

As I write, I have recently returned from watching United do us a
massive favour against Chelsea. Of course, if they really wanted to do
us a favour, they could have not beaten us 8-2 in August, but I
suppose it's the thought that counts. I know I have written off our
chances of coming fourth, and I stand by that, but what is the point
of being a football fan if you can't cling to the straggliest of
straws? There's still a mathematical chance, and Chelsea showed off
some more of their deep-rooted flaws tonight. 3-0 up to United, they
were pulled back by 2 Wayne Rooney penalties and a Chicharito header.
One thing you could say is that that would never have happened under
Mourinho. Chelsea are certainly not the force they were, and watching
them objectively (something I struggle with, admittedly), they do not
necessarily look stronger than Arsenal. There's still hope, even if
your heart tells you that fourth is out of our reach.

Overall, I'm happy with the weekend. Newcastle won, of course but if
you see Chelsea as our main competitors for fourth place, this was yet
another opportunity to make up points on them, and an opportunity we
took. We scored 7 goals, RvP got a hatrick, Thierry scored in his last game at the Emirates, and Stoke lost. Call me a
man of simple pleasures, but that for me is a great weekend of
football.

Until next time,

Joe

Arsenal 0-0 Bolton: Let’s Play the Blame Game

How to describe the fortunes of Arsenal at the moment? Malaise? Torpor? Stuck in a rut? Simply not good enough? Last night has left me totally disheartened. No 4^th place for us, I’d put money on it. This team doesn’t seem to have the wherewithal to fight for 4^th place. Currently, we’re outside of the f*cking Europa League positions. Talk about dire.

Who can we blame? The manager, to an extent. No (proper) signings in January probably didn’t surprise many people, but it infuriated plenty. Having been a Wengerphile for so long I don’t know if I now deflect blame from him automatically without being objective enough. But look, we had the same players that we had when we went on that decent winning run that seems so long ago now. This horrendous run of form, then, can’t be down to a lack of signings. Can we blame injuries? There were plenty in January (this is Arsenal), and they played their part, but those were mainly in defence. I think the problems lie further forward; defence certainly wasn’t the issue last night. What else? Luck? Certainly, it’s played a part. On another night we would have been 3-0 up at half time. Having said that, Bolton missed a fair few chances of their own. Not luck then. Psychological issues? It’s well known that confidence takes a long time to build up, and not long to shatter. Maybe, but where was the broken confidence in the second half of the Aston Villa game in the FA Cup? Those were the same players. Is this a strictly league-bound problem?

Many question marks, as you can see, and very few answers. I suspect the answer is a bit from each pile. All the ingredients, combined, make one revolting pie of shit form, topped with a lumpy gravy of sliding league position and served with a salad garnish of fan disenchantment. For desert: Andrei Arshavin’s career.

What makes this even worse, for me, is that there are only three teams in the league who are definitively better than us. Chelsea are stumbling through the season like Boris Johnson stumbles into tackles. Liverpool and Newcastle are ahead of us not really on their own merit, but because of our failings. Don’t get me wrong, they deserve to be ahead of us, but only because their form has been marginally less awful than ours. In our last four games, had we taken the nine points we could reasonably have expected, instead of one, we’d be three points behind Tottenham. I know, it’s like saying if Owen Coyle had fewer teeth, he wouldn’t look so much like a dolphin- he doesn’t, so he does.

 But don’t be mistaken that Spurs are a wonderful team and have been in such good form that they’re uncatchable. Had we taken the points we ‘should’ have over the last month, we’d be right behind them, and well clear of the dross of Liverpool and Newcastle. Fourth is up for the taking, but we’re not up for taking it.

I am not one of the fans calling for Wenger’s head. Not because of what he has done for the club, not because he is a wonderful manager going through a very tough season (all true), but because fans calling for the removal of a manager because of a poor run of form is the reserve of bottom-of-the-table dross, and clubs run by amoral Russian billionaires. I still possess, deep down, that glimmer of hope that this season will be just a blip, and that soon Arsenal will be back where they belong. I suppose that’s what keeps any fan sane.

At the moment, however, that blip is a needle hidden in a haystack. A tiny needle, and a huge haystack. I won’t even begin to consider Saturday’s game. I don’t want to give myself false hope, I truly no longer believe that we can or will finish fourth. The best I’m hoping for now is a run in either cup and some serious discussion among the leadership about how to turn this club around. Otherwise we could be looking at a couple of years in the wilderness, at least.

Pessimistically yours,

Joe

Follow me on Twitter @JoeBlogsArsenal

Arsenal 3-2 Aston Villa: Remembering What a Win Feels Like

Apologies for the lateness. I was having some issues with my keyboard- specifically the letters c, h and v were doing nothing. Very odd, but the problem has been resolved. Lucky, because ‘Jon Terry is a useless unt’ doesn’t have the same ring to it.

So, at half time on Sunday we were 2-0 down. The boos returned, although, I must say, I still think that’s a minority. Sitting in the ground, the reaction of everyone sitting around me was of ‘why are these morons booing’? I was extremely unhappy, with the performance, with the manner in which both goals were conceded, with the generally shit start to the year that Arsenal had made, but I don’t see why my negativity should be transmitted to the players, particularly when there was still a half of football to be played. Having said that, I can understand the frustration of the crowd. Here was a team that, despite not playing that badly, had gone two goals behind to a totally inferior team through nothing but defensive mistakes and laxity. A team that has lost its last three league games, and that only has one realistic hope of winning a trophy this season. A team that had shown that promises of a renewed strength were false. All in all, a bit of booing was perhaps to be expected, if not enjoyed.

The second half was one of those rare times that make watching football great. We came out, attacked, attacked, attacked, scored, attacked a bit more, scored again, attacked a bit more, then scored again. I was delirious. We had had a similar amount of possession, but had seemed to pose a much more direct threat than in the first 45 minutes. Everything we did ended up at least in the penalty box, rather than fizzling out. I said at the time that had we been 3-0 down at half time, we probably would have scored 4 goals in quick succession. Aston Villa’s collapse played a part. It was almost Arsenal-esque on their part- to turn victory into defeat that comprehensively and quickly was straight out of the Arsenal playbook, but we can’t put is solely down to that. Our players showed some of that character that we are all so desperate to see. I loved it.

Make no mistake, we can win the FA Cup this year. Why not? We will have to beat Sunderland or ‘Boro away in the next round, and why shouldn’t we? Do that and we are in the quarter finals. I still maintain that there is no team in the country that a fully-firing Arsenal team couldn’t beat. If I were in charge of Arsenal, I would tell the players that this is what we are going for this year. Obviously, 4^th place has to be a priority, but then so does silverware. If you asked me whether I would prefer to win the FA Cup or come 4^th, the reasonable side of me would say that the latter would be the best for the club. However, we can do both, and we should attempt to do both. I’ve got a good feeling about the FA Cup.

The news about Jack Wilshere is a huge blow, but not anything that most of us didn’t know, in our heart of hearts, we would be hearing sooner or later. Long-time readers (ha) will remember this piece I wrote, where I said that Jack not returning at all was one of the things I least wanted to see this season, but probably would. A huge shame, but what can we do? Part of being an Arsenal fan these days is coming to terms with long-term injuries to our best players. I won’t go into the myriad arguments about why all of our best players are so injury-prone, or why minor injuries become major, or why it’s always us. Life’s too short for that. My reaction to the Wilshere news (besides a knowing sigh) was to think immediately about how we can best manage that loss. That means the rotation of Arteta, Ramsey, Song, Coquelin, Diaby(!), Rosicky and Benayoun. Without Wilshere, we have the makings of a decent, top-four midfield, just about. It’s a matter of managing our remaining resources wisely, something that I’m sure Arsene is devoting much of his time to.

Tomorrow we face Bolton away. I despise Bolton. A remnant of the Allardyce years. I have complained before about the myth that Owen Coyle has instilled in them a free-flowing, passing game. It’s a media creation: just watch them play tomorrow and decide if they have moved away from the cloggers that they are rightly seen as. We need a win tomorrow, no two ways about it. Anything else will rightly be considered a disaster. We are 5 points behind Immoral Post-Soviet Oligarchs FC, who play in Swansea tonight. Assuming they win, that gap will be 8 points. Anything less than a win tomorrow and we really will have to start planning for life in the Europa League. Let’s hope that the Aston Villa game will be the spark needed to reignite our push for fourth and beyond. Stranger things have happened.

Till next time,

Joe

Arsenal 1-2 Man United: Third Loss Running

Well, that was inevitable.

Where to start? I suppose one positive to be taken from today was that... erm... well... we didn't lose 8-2. That's a start. Also, Spurs lost, meaning that in terms of the race for fourth, we dropped a single point further behind Chelsea this weekend despite this totally dispiriting defeat.

Enough of that. In reality this was a real low. We have now lost 3 games in a row in the league. Even at the start of the season I don't believe we hit that number. Too depressing to check. We are 5 points off Chelsea in fourth place. Ten, ten, off Spurs, with 16 games to go. Eighteen off Man City. I believe that we now need to seriously begin considering life without the Champions League next season, something that Wenger has already admitted would be a disaster. It's not guaranteed, we could still sneak into fourth, but we are five points away and seemingly going backwards. As I've said before, even a team in form would struggle to overcome that gap, and we are not in a team in form. Well we are in form, but that form is shit.


The atmosphere at the game was largely positive and encouraging, but I do notice a great deal of frustration now. One gentleman behind me was expressing his views loudly throughout the match. From his erudition, I assume he was some kind of professional football analyst, perhaps a correspondent for the Times or the Telegraph. 'TAKE THAT FAKKING COAT OF WANGER YOU CAAAAAAANT!!!', he opined, rightly annoyed by Arsene's choice of clothing. 'DO SUMFING YOU USELESS MUG!!!', he posited, seemingly disappointed that the manager wasn't warming up himself. The booing at the substitution of Oxlade-Chamberlain was the nadir of this crowd unhappiness. I was disappointed at the decision but told myself that there must have been a reason for it (turns out AOC had cramp). Not so the rest of the crowd. A chorus of boos greeted the decision, which no doubt inspired the struggling Arshavin. I can't understand that attitude. In a team that desperately needs a goal, surely support has to be the first priority? Wenger wasn't taking AOC off for Almunia. I can understand frustration, but not booing, and not on that scale. An argument for another day perhaps, but it certainly left a bitter taste.


In terms of the actual football, I am finding it hard to put my finger on what is going quite so wrong. Certainly today, but also against Swansea and Fulham, we struggled going forward from midfield. The tired-looking Aaron Ramsey looked... tired... today, and Rosicky was poor in the first half, though improved significantly in the second. It's tempting to say that we miss Arteta, which we clearly do, but it's not like he's a barnstorming central midfielder who unlocks defences with mazy dribbles. What we miss is his ability to 'turn over' the game, from defence to attack fluidly and with a minimum of fuss and mistakes. All that said, in the three games we have lost recently, we have scored four goals, so it's not like they've totally dried up. Our focus needs to be more on our defence, which is quickly beginning to resemble the February-September vintage. The main problem in the first half was Djourou, who looked totally lost at right-back. Seemingly every time United got the ball, they pinged it over to Nani, who looked up at Djourou's positioning, chuckled, and played in cross after cross. The last one of the half, unfortunately, was a goal. Why Vermaelen allowed himself to be outjumped by Valencia I don't know, but that error aside it was a goal that everyone could see was going to happen sooner or later. Djourou looked totally downtrodden. I know he's not a full-back, and it is quite a lot to ask, but when he kept getting sucked in to the middle so obviously, why didn't someone, Wenger or Rice or Vermaelen or Mertesacker or Szczesny, have a word and explain what he was doing wrong?


Anyway, Djourou was replaced at half time, and Wenger deserves credit for that decision. (Maybe not  a great deal of credit, but at least better than 'ABOUT TIME YOU USELESS TWAAAAAT!!!' from the scholarly gent behind me.) Yennaris did a lot better and most United attention in the second half came down the right. With the fact in mind that Yennaris is capable of playing against United for a half, you have to ask, why not two? A question that others will be asking, I'm sure.


Overall, you've got to be very, very worried. The points gap above us increases, the number of games we have left to get rid of it decreases, and the mood around the club is certainly lower than it has been for a few months. Three defeats in a row is a rarity, and not the good kind. As ever, I'm not totally pessimistic. We have players returning that will change this team for the better. Arteta, Wilshere, Sagna, Gibbs and Santos are all going to return at some point. In the astronomically unlikely event that our starting eleven strings a few games together, we will all be a lot happier, and I suspect results would improve. Chelsea aren't a great team, and stranger things have happened than us making up the requisite five points on them. However, for now, it's going to be one of those weeks where football websites are avoided. Try doing something productive instead.


Until next time,
Joe.


Follow me on Twitter @JoeBlogsArsenal

Swansea 3-2 Arsenal: Falling Away from the Top Four

Gloom. Doom. Two words that sum up quite nicely how I’m feeling about Arsenal at this moment. On a weekend when Spurs dropped points to Wolves, a win against Swansea was pretty much a must. A draw would have been massively disappointing. A loss is not far short of catastrophic. It’s not just the fact that Tottenham gained ground on us despite their own wretched result. Chelsea, the only other team we could conceivably catch, completed a fairly routine win over Sunderland. Four points now separate them and us. Further, Newcastle beat QPR today to move level with us on points. Had we beaten Swansea, we would have pulled away from them once again. As it is, we are looking over our shoulders and realising that Newcastle are not actually behind, they’re neck and neck. Seriously worrying.

I would now like to officially revise my position on Tottenham. I don’t think we will catch them. It’s not impossible, of course they are more than capable of bottling it, but they now have a 10 point lead with 17 games to go. That would be difficult enough to overcome even if we were a team in decent form, but we’re not. In the league, we’ve taken four points from our last four games. None in our last two.

It looked like it would be easy. Four minutes in, van Persie’s superb finish caused Martin Tyler to pause in his fellatio of Swansea City, albeit briefly. I worried over the next few minutes that the mistakes from the Fulham game would be repeated, and I was right. We failed to build on our early lead, and Swansea fought their way back into the game well. Their penalty was never a penalty, but at that point there were 16 minutes gone and we should have had enough to retake control of the game. Sadly not. The déjà vu continued after the break, with Dyer’s goal not against the run of play. Even at this point, though, we were in a better position than against Fulham, in that we had plenty of time to get back into it. The removal of Benayoun and the arrival of Henry was a move in the right direction. I actually thought that Ramsey should have made way as he had an absolute nightmare. Even apart from giving away the penalty and Swansea’s second goal, he seemed affected by the crowd’s booing of him when he was on the ball. He gave it away too much, something that quite a few Arsenal players could be accused of today. Even so, we got the vital second goal, a wonderful Djourou through ball splitting apart the Swansea defence and finding Theo Walcott, who finished calmly. It is almost certainly too dramatic, but I will say it anyway: our season hinged on the next 10 minutes. Would Arsenal play like the Arsenal of October, November and December, killing off the game and wrapping up three points? If so, they would gain ground on Tottenham, and go into next week’s clash with United in a confident mood. Alternatively, would Arsenal play like the Arsenal of February-September 2011, totally bottling it and conceding almost immediately? Sadly, you know the answer, and we will host Man United next weekend with a serious lack of confidence and form.

So where is the problem? This being Arsenal, injuries take some of the blame. I really thought we missed Arteta today. Ramsey did not do well, but neither did Benayoun. The midfield in general, including Walcott and Arshavin, should have dominated possession and chances after van Persie’s opener, but allowed themselves to outplayed. Injuries to full-backs and Vermaelen also affected us: Miquel looked alright at times, lost at others. Not a great day for Szczesny either, who was beaten somewhat too easily for the second goal and was probably at fault for the third. Injuries and off-days aside, I don’t know if there is some deeper problem with this Arsenal side that will prevent them from achieving their potential. I am tempted to say that there is not; the psychological demons of last year appeared to have been more or less exorcised until the Fulham game. Time will tell if they are resurfacing or if this is more of a blip that can be put down to an unusually makeshift back four, even for Arsenal, and a midfield missing one of its key anchors of this season in Arteta.

What did not aid my foul mood was the stream of bullshit emanating from the mouth of Martin Tyler. I don’t know if anyone else found him unusually irritating today, but I was reaching for the mute button every three minutes. His obsession with Swansea’s style meant that every pass they completed was evidence that they are on their way to the pantheon of football’s greatest sides. At one point in the first half he said that Arsenal were ‘being given a lesson in the way they like to play’.  Not one of their goals, indeed not one of their chances, came from wonderful football. The first was from a very harsh penalty, the second a mistake when Ramsey gave the ball away, and the third a hopeful through ball and a hesitant goalkeeper. Not quite the triangles that Tyler was trying to portray. At one point he mentioned how they were emulating Barcelona. That’s not to take anything away from Swansea. They beat us, and they deserved to beat us. Now we need to work out why.

All in all, then, not a good weekend. The chances of us getting into the top four are now entirely dependent on Chelsea and Tottenham, and once again we have to start looking over our shoulder at those in 6^th place, when we should be looking ahead. All is not lost though. Tottenham are still Tottenham. For now, we need to look at where we went wrong today, and fix all the problems before the visit of Manchester United in a week’s time.

Gulp.

Follow me on Twitter @JoeBlogsArsenal