Tail, meet legs.

Err, sorry about that.

Firstly, the excuses for my three-month absence. Suffice to say, I was betrayed. After finally summoning up the courage to write about our end to the season (summary: phew) something terrible happened that made me consider whether I had any love left for football. Seeing that gurning clown prancing about in his shinpads, my mind turned to this blog. Could I really start it up again in the knowledge that football can bring that amount of pain? Where would I begin?

However, I have battled through, and due to an overwhelming surge in popular demand, I have dusted off the old laptop and am ready to spew my thoughts on football into the minds of my multitudinous readers.

'But Joe, the season's finished!' I hear you exclaim. Well, yes. But this year ends in an even number, so to fill the void that is normally filled by watching static for 2 hours at 3pm on a Saturday, we're going to have wondrous, fulfilling international football to feast upon. Well, 'feast upon' is a bit strong. 'Watch' would be more accurate.

I know, I know, it's passé to like international football. It's out of fashion to drink beer, take your top off, paint a red cross on your face and cheer on Ing-er-land to a heroic group-stage exit. But I'm going to anyway, because I bloody love it, and you should too. Enjoy the way that big players consistently fail to turn up at major tournaments. Embrace the inevitable controversy surrounding racist Ukrainian fans. Take pleasure in the way that in England's draw with Sweden, most of the actual viewing will be of stunning blonde girls in the crowd who catch the eye of pervy cameramen. Yes, the football will be of a much lower standard. Much, much lower, if you're supporting England. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, and I'm going to.

With that in mind, I have set aside the weeks between June the 8th and July the 1st for a veritable buffet of football. And, if you've forgiven my 3-month absence from the blogging world (are people still saying 'blogosphere'?) you'll be able to read my collected ramblings on the progress of England, as well as the other games I watch, and a variety of various other Euro and Arsenal related things.

Don't let the presence of John Terry spoil it for you. If you're English, support England and, you never know, we might just pull off a Greece. If you're from a non-European country (and a warm hello to my few regular readers in Taiwan and Kazakhstan), may I recommend Spain or Germany, they're likely to bring you the most joy.

So, it's good to be back. I'll return later this week after Hodgson's confirmation of the final 23 on Tuesday. See you then.

                                                                      Even the Swedes are jealous...